Would you like me to lapdance for you?

OK, I had to share this with you - this is (hopefully) the laptop that's going to be arriving on my doorstep sometime before we head off to Ibiza. I'm really happy about a couple of the features on this model. No it's not the fact that it's got a spill-proof keyboard (although that'll be useful for DJing with) or it's firewire 800 port (which I'm very happy about, nonetheless) - It's the fact that the promotional pictures for this model show a screen saver that says ASUS: Rock Solid, Heart Warming.

I mean, the rock solid part pretty much speaks for itself, and I'm happy about that, really I am - when I'm playing at a gig, I need my laptop to be my rock, because god knows none of the drunkards falling against my lighting rig are going to do that for me. What I'm really happy about is the fact that this laptop is "Heart Warming". I feel like this laptop has already warmed my heart. Because this laptop is on its way to me, I just want to leap out the door, kiss the first person I come across in the street, and shout things like "Yay fiddlesticks" and play songs that include lots of "Shoo-bob Showaddy-waddys" in. Only the bloody Japanese could have possibly advertised a laptop as "Heart Warming" and got away with it.

Which brings me onto the other feature I'm really looking forward to checking out - the ASUS Splendid Video Intelligence Technology which is built into it, apparently. It's all splendid, all the time. You Mac fanbois can keep licking Steve's arse for all I care, so long as my lappie has Splendid technology, I am good to go.