We're only a week into 2007, and I'm already feeling things are a little freaky. But in a good way... for once - the thing is I'm not used to the whole good things happening to me deal, and I can't help thinking that things just seem a little too perfect... there has to be a catch somewhere.
I'm not normally this pessimisstic, but then I'm used to trying to get the best out of a bad situation, so I suppose this is my mind's logical way of dealing with this: suspecting the worst of a good situation lol.
Let me explain a little: for a long time me and girls have had a kind of "don't bother me, and I won't bother you" relationship - possibly the result of having my heart mangled one too many times in the past, combined with the habit of being a psycho-magnet. That was one of the reasons for going to Ibiza in the first place - it's virtually impossible to have a relationship out there, the holidaymakers change over every week or so, and the workers are either too tired or too fucked up to be able to have one. It suited me perfectly.
So then I come out to California, and took much the same attitude - but for the most part girls here are pretty stuck up and only worried about stuff - not my type at all. So it came as a complete surprise on Christmas Eve Eve to meet someone I was totally into right from the start. It felt like being in the Truman Show - this girl seemed to know everything about me before I did. So what's the big deal - it would not be the first time a guy has liked a girl in human history, or even the first time that I've liked a girl for that matter, but it is the first time that I've let a girl get this close without having known her for 6 million years. There seem to be a lot of questions like:.
- Why change now?
- Should I really be this worried about it, or should I just let it happen?
- Should I even write anything in my blog in case she sees it, thinks I'm an overkeen psycho-stalker and runs for the hills?
- Or would she be more offended if I hadn't written anything about her in the whole time I've known her?
- Does she even read my blog?
- Is anyone even still reading this?
- and How insecure am I?