Ninja Saturday.

They told me to dress in black for my first day at this new job at Prohibition tonight, so I managed to find a black tshirt and the only pair of black pants that still fit me. I look like a total ninja. It feels wrong. It's called Ninja Wednesday for a reason. Because it's not Saturday. I know I'm going to make a total arse of myself tonight.

At least I have curry with Naomi after I finish to look forward to afterwards. We always go to the grottiest curry house in Leeds, but they make the best curries, and charge you about 5p for it. It's a ritual.

Paris Hilton's Dog

iPoo

Oh Ho Ho! Which piece of software has incurred my wrath today? It's everyone's favorite, iTunes! Yay! I put it back on my computer today, and presumably because it's been installed in the UK this time, it shows a completely different set of reviews for Ruforia than when I installed it in the US. Not only that, but the podcast charts are seperate as well! In the UK charts, Ruforia is currently #61, whereas it doesn't even register on the US charts.

I can understand them having seperate charts for paid music, but for free podcasts? And seperating the reviews just seems even stranger - surely 5*s means the same, regardless of the language the rest of the review is written in? (Yeah, that's a little cocky, I know ;)

Air Fresheners

Just as I thought. There's WD40 in my ear.

As you've probably worked out from the fact that my blog's looking less like a powerpoint presentation, I managed to get Photoshop working :) I'm a happy bunny.

I tried the new Photoshop, CS3, yesterday. It was pants. It ran slower than a dog with no legs. It was a beta though, but it doesn't seem to have that many new features that will make my life easier in terms of web design, so I might not bother looking at it when it officially gets released.

Actually, this is probably what will happen, my curiosity for all things new and shiny will get the better of me, and I'll install it anyway, then I'll find out that it still runs as slow as a dog with no legs, then I'll wonder why I bothered.

Why is it that as they get older, instead of getting faster (as new, faster programming techniques are discovered), programs get slower? Look at Windows... to a normal person, Vista doesn't do much more than XP (I think they might have upgraded solitaire), yet I could starve to death in the time it takes it to do most things. I think Microsoft have run out of ideas when it comes to Windows anyway, in which case, for the next version, please could you do absolutely nothing, apart from tidy up your programming and make it faster please? I really don't care about flipping things in 3D or translucent windows, not if it's going to make my system grind to a halt. Back in the day when I had a 33Mhz 486 running Windows 3.1 it used to take about a minute to load. Now I've got a 3.4Ghz Intel 4 with Windows XP, and it still takes a minute to load and it's supposedly 104x faster than that first computer. If Windows 3.1 worked on this computer, it should take around 0.5 seconds to boot.

Shame I don't have a floppy drive to install Windows 3.1 ;)

This doesn't mean we're friends, Bill.

Wow, I think that was probably the most painless installation of Windows I've ever done (And no, just because I'm saying "Wow" does not mean I've succumbed to installing Vista. I'd rather poke my eyes out with rusty nails). I think it was probably helped by the fact that when you get to my level of professional manhood (Or geekdom, delete as appropriate), you keep all your drivers in one place on your hard disk. Then whenever Windows asks for stuff so it can install your Graphics Card/Sound Card/Coffee Maker, you just tell it where they all are. I still think they should have a "I said HERE, tosser." button in the driver installation window though.

It's always very satisfying and exhilarating, booting up a clean version of Windows for the first time. You remember how everything should run, before you fill it full of crap. Which I'm about to do right now.

Pleeeeeeeeease work this time, Photoshop!

Messages from the 'Other Side'

I just tried to open DreamWeaver, and got this, possibly the strangest error message I've ever got. Maybe not quite as strange as "Error #2484, user has a beard." though.

As my volume gently tweaks...

It's amazing how just switching my blog from mySpace to Blogger has restored a sense of equilibrium to my life. I woke up this morning positively bursting with energy. Well, maybe not bursting, but I kinda felt like a kid on Christmas morning, there was a buzz of anticipation in the air, and my sense of karmic flow seems to be heightened. I feel compelled to write in my blog again...

Why changing my blog would do this to me, I don't know, perhaps I feel less dragged down by mySpace's crap design, less constricted by its nazist censorship. Maybe I just get turned on by the fact that I can upload pictures to my blog from within Picasa now. All hail Picasa, I love you dearly.

Maybe I have a feeling of righteousness because people who choose to read my blog from within an RSS reader can now read the whole thing, and not just the first three words, without having to actually get dragged across the internet just to look at some arsebiscuit flash adverts telling them to chase a monkey for a free ringtone. Although yesterday I did notice that mySpace had finally implemented autodetection of their blog Rss feed. Well done myspace, now if you wouldn't mind making the rest of your site good, I might want to use you again. I can't see that happening though.

So with my newfound motivation I think I'm going to re-install windows on my laptop. There's nothing that would destroy my soul more, but it's something I've been putting off for ages, and I'm tired of MSN messenger trying to install itself all the time when I never asked it to, and Photoshop not working.

If I spike my hair up, I look like the nerd everyone hates from Spin City.

I don't know why I didn't move my blog over here sooner. Looking back at my old mySpace blog, it just looks old and nasty in comparison. I really am just a big bag of style and productivity today. Not only did I get myself some nice new trainers to replace the old Vans I've had for 5 years (I'll always remember you...), I also got myself a new job at the stylish Prohibition in Leeds. Swank McSwank.

Now I just have to save up for those million things I want... New phone, trip to Ibiza, Leeds Festival, new laptop, flat...

How do normal people cope????

Victimized by MySpace for being useful.

Why is it, that every time, without fail, I want to post a bulletin, MySpace is 'fixing them', yet other people have no problem posting 15 in a row telling me nothing more than the fact that they're bored?

Does MySpace have built-in usefulness filters - if something is deemed useful to anyone MySpace will block it?? How many times does mySpace need to 'fix' their bulletins? And why were they broken? Probably too many people posting that they were bored. Do you hear me?? If you're bored, and you're on MySpace, don't feel like you have to tell me. I don't care. Really. Here's some interesting alternatives to boredom bulleting you might want to consider (hey, I had to get a bulleted list in there somehow):

• Write a novel.
• Saw someone in half.
• Do naked handstands.

If you do any of these things, you have every right to bulletin me and tell me all about it (And in the case of the last one, if you're a good looking lass, you have my permission to send pictures as well), but unless you have something interesting to say, stay thy hand from ye poste buttone. It's stopping me telling everyone about my naked handstands.

Fuck it, I'm going to go poke someone on Facebook.

News just in: In addition to not letting me post bulletins, MySpace don't want me to write in my blog either. I think I swear too much or something. This is my new blog now. MySpace can go do illigal things with goats for all I care.