Renovation for the good of the Nation.

Because if we don't... somebody will probably die from the biohazard that is the Moby's apartment. Ugh.

After our huge cleaning spree, yesterday, we spent the entire day gutting the flat. We'd already filled one of the industrial-sized street bins with all the crap we took out of the place, and then somehow we managed to get another load out of this place.

Marisa spent the entire day taking the horrible bobbly texture off the walls, whilst I tried to replace the plug sockets and light switches in the house. In true Reg style (god rest his tight-arse soul), none of the wires, none of the wiring corresponded to either UK or Spanish colours, so finding out which wire was meant to do what became more akin to defusing a bomb than basic home electrical wiring. All the light switches were so old that they all heated up when you turned them on, to the point where it became prudent to wear oven gloves to turn them off again. Opening the one above our bed revealed the reason why it smelled so much when you turned it on: a cockroach had crawled through the cavity into the switch, and then electrocuted itself, so that it burned every time you turned the switch on. Mmmmm, chargrilled cockroach. I wouldn't be surprised if McDonalds don't start selling that soon.

The super-stylish switches that have graced the Moby's apartment for more than 30 years. Notice the beautifully crafted bobbling effect in the paintwork that subtly shows the dirt off in it's best light.


Plugging something in adds an exciting element of danger to even mundane household tasks. For best results, try combining two appliances at once: we suggest a hairdryer and the fridge to really see the sparks fly!


Nobody knows what these wires do. Where do they go? The mystery continues.


Believe it or not, this wall looks 10x better now that the paint has been taken off.


Filling one of the huge holes in the wall with expanding foam just gave a more Alien Vs. Spieces effect to the flat than already existed.


"Structural Engineer" is dirty talk in Spain.


What does this picture mean?? Why does the man in the carriage look so unhappy? Who knows, but it went in the bin anyway.


One of the light switches after we replaced it.

It's those tricky undersides, they can be a real dirt trap

Today me and Marisa both woke up at the same time, with the same thought in our minds... We have to clean this place. Last night we packed up all our bits at Ben's apartment, and wheeled them down the road to the Moby's flat after Vinyl Ritchie moved out. Then Kenny lent us his car keys so we could do a second run and get all the other bits and pieces we'd managed to accumulate in 3 weeks of island living. Luckily he'd never experienced my driving, so hopefully we can blame the huge scrape down the side of the car on someone else. I told him my parking was shite anyway, so it's his own fault.

By the soft glow of the sulfur light on the street outside, the Moby's apartment didn't look too bad. By the light of day, the place seemed to look like it had been designed by HR Giger, and not in a good way. We swept and mopped the whole place 3 times, and still it feels dirty in bare feet. We went through the entire place, and threw away anything that wasn't ours or Emma's (The other girl that's staying here for a week). By the time we got to cleaning our room, we thought we'd managed to get the worst of it over and done with, but when we moved the rug, there was quite a bit more sand than can be had in the Sahara desert. We've done what we can for now, tomorrow we're going to the DIY shop, to buy lots of things to try and make it look a bit less like the 9th layer of Hell.